Alan Cohen: A Tale of Two Fathers

My coaching client Gregg told me that he was trying to figure out his identity as a husband and father. “I grew up with two fathers,” Gregg explained. “One was my biological father, and the other the man my mother married after she divorced my father for cheating on her.

“My first father was a real player, a high-roller,” Gregg went on. “He loved to make money and spend it. He was generous with me and everyone. When I saw him after the divorce, he always had a new car and a different girlfriend. He seemed to be having fun, but I never saw him have a real relationship.

“My second father was the exact opposite: He was ultra-conservative, serious, and stingy, but stable. He was a solid guy, but didn’t seem to be enjoying life.

“Now that I have my own wife and family,” Gregg confessed, “I struggle between these two images. I’m not sure which man I want to be more like.”

Trust Your Talent

Many years ago a young Kansas City artist struggled to get his cartoons published in city newspapers. His offerings, however, were met with rejection after rejection. “Forget it,” editors told him. “You have no talent. Get a real job.” But the artist felt that he did have talent and he refused to compromise his career.
Finally the artist found himself holed up in a mice-infested garage, penniless. Bored, he began to sketch his environment, especially one little mouse who ran back and forth on his window sill. Over time the artist made friends with the rodent and the two developed a relationship. He named the mouse “Mickey.”

The artist was Walt Disney, and you know the rest of the story. Disney went on to establish the most expansive entertainment empire in the world, with amusement parks spanning the globe, major film and television companies, and countless spinoff products. Over the years Walt, Mickey, and their entertainment progeny have provided limitless joy for hundreds of millions of children and their families. If you have every visited one of the Disney parks or watched Disney films or television, you can thank Walt Disney for trusting his talent.

Bring it On

a message from Alan Cohen

We have arrived at December, 2012, the month prophesied as a turning point in human history. Much ado has been devoted to the December 21st solstice date. The Mayan calendar is said to end here; some soothsayers predict the end of the world; others predict the beginning. Groups are gathering at the Great Pyramid in Egypt, Machu Picchu, and sacred sites around the planet. All year people have been asking me, “What do you think will happen on December 21st?” I recently picked up a hitchhiker who asked me this very question. Millions of people are wondering, some are fearing, and others are hoping.

I believe there is a core of truth to the import of this date, sprinkled with a generous helping of bunk. Perhaps the date is less about cosmic significance, and more of a seminar in which we face the hopes and fears we have projected onto it. To those who have asked me about it, I suggest that we take our power back from externally-issued predictions and astrological configurations, and tap into a place of choice within us. What would you like to happen? How can you participate in making it happen? Are you waiting for God or the planets to change your life, or a savior to descend from a cloud and rescue you from hardship? Or are you willing and ready to build the life you would choose by elevating your consciousness and actions to match the circumstances you desire?

Change Your Frequency

a message from Alan Cohen

While staying at a hotel, I signed up for wireless Internet service. To my disappointment, the service kept going on and off. A call to tech support did not help much. Finally the technician concluded there must have been some interference near my room. He suggested I change rooms. So at 1 A.M. I packed my gear and trudged to another hotel room.

I logged onto the wireless service and found that the reception in this room was no better. Stymied, I scanned for other wireless services in the hotel and found there was another one available. I logged onto it and it worked perfectly. So I didn’t need to change rooms after all. I just needed to change my frequency.

Many of us are tempted to change jobs, houses, or spouses, and sometimes that works. Yet it’s not unusual that when you get to your new situation you find it to be simply a repeat of the old one. In many cases you didn’t need to change the situation. You just needed to change the point from which you were looking at it. More often we need to make a vertical move rather than a horizontal one. Instead of moving to the side, move up.

Dr. Michael Ryce offers a workshop called, “Why is this Happening to me Again?” He cites this example: “You fly away from New York to get away from a relationship that isn’t working, and the person who meets you at the airport in Los Angeles finishes the sentence that the person you left in New York started.”

The world we experience is not created by people or situations. It is created by our thoughts. The most powerful place to start changing the world is in your mind. If you try to change your world without first changing your mind, the world will not change. When you change your mind, everything changes.

We are entering the holiday season, which often brings up lots of juicy material for spiritual growth. You might face family and social gatherings with people who annoy, insult, or drive you crazy. While you may attempt to avoid such situations, if you find yourself in a position where you have to attend, you can seize the moment to practice vertical rather than horizontal movement.