Thank you very much (smile.) I think yesterday became one of those days of really deep integration within me. My mind woke up tired, exhausted really. I tried to do readings, but all I got to see was my own antenna. The only time I ever really see my antenna as I attempt to read is when I am neither off nor on, but in a growth phase. But even that showed us something. We are not only growing within our conscious abilities, we are really expanding too. My antenna used to look like a softball sized pole that went out into the back yard to connect with your soul energy. The softball size no doubt related to the size or opening of my crown chakra, since that is where it emerges from. Yesterday, it was the size of my whole flipping head and looked very much like a psychedelic mushroom!! What that means, I guess we will find out as we continue to connect and grow together!
I decided to take a bath and see if I could recharge my batteries, as usual, I got so much more than I bargained for, for which, I am grateful. I am going to share what I was shown yesterday, even tho it is my own personal story, I know it is yours too, in your own way, but still, it helped me understand so many questions and frustrations I have had along the way, I pray it does the same for you as well.
The moment I laid back in my tub, without even closing my eyes yet, there was Jorge (pronounced hor-hay)! I have not seen Jorge since sheez, since before the arrival of Rick in June, so it has been a while. How he showed up was very interesting. It was as if two worlds came together in my bathtub. There I was, in my bath, there he was, located at my thighs, wading thru a body of water that might have been a river. He was walking thru this water which came up to just above his belly button and he had both hands skimming the surface of the water at his sides. His movement towards me was incredibly slow, like he was taking tiny baby steps in whatever body of water he was wading thru (which connected to the surface of water in my bathtub.)
In asking him what on earth are you doing back, his reply (more or less) was I finally got out of my own way (imagine that!) I had been so worried about WHO my divine counterpart is, that I missed some serious information about… WHAT a divine counterpart is. I realized, beyond a shadow of a doubt, right before my bath, it cannot, in any way, be Marc (phew)…
It seemed, Jorge did not come alone. Altho the others had no physical body image as Jorge did, I knew who they were… the Guardians of the Mesa Here. They have been with me my entire incarnation within this body… guiding the river of my life and experiences. Making sure my experiences were enough to wet my palate, but didn’t fry me from having an experience that I was not yet in alignment to handle. (Dammit!!)
I watched as one of the Guardians who appeared to me many times as the Blessed Mother put that trick sentence in my awareness about “My proverbial son, your brother will be coming soon.” They knew the integrity I had within myself, and I would not try to blend into Marc’s body. Sure enough (dammit)! Same with Frank, and other relationships and connections and stuff along my entire (not just my spiritual) life path.
There was a question I have had within me, that they already seemed to know and FINALLY be able to help me (us) understand. Sparred by a statement I said to Jorge yesterday. ”It is nice to see my twin flame show up again.” First of all, I never use that word twin flame, so why did I yesterday? Well, his response made it clear. He said, “I am not a twin flame, I am one and the same flame.” And the understanding was shown to me in unmistakable detailed, understanding.
The first thing the guardians did yesterday was show me a beach, a sandy beach. They said, when you look at this beach, do you say “wow look at that beach” or do you say “wow look at the million grains of sand that make up this beach.” We see the beach as a whole. This is our soul energy. What many call the soul group.
Each grain of sand holds its own consciousness and is always a part of the beach.
One can say, but there are beaches all over the world. Indeed!! We have taken what appears to be individualization aspects of our soul and set up beaches everywhere, it does not make that beach, or those grains of sand any less connected to other beaches. Even the water that seems individuated by land masses, is still all one water system.
Now, to be very very clear here. There are other soul groups what we can call, dirt, or grass or trees. Very different energies and collectives, all connected to the whole and have very specific energetic tasks within the vast multi-verse of Life.
A grain of sand, will always recognize another grain of sand simply by the energetic signature of that sand. You can change the guise, but never the energy recognition.
You ever meet a complete stranger and feel like you have known them all their lives…
Now, imagine someone took a bucket of sand out of the same beach head and created a sculpture of all this sand. Lets say, this sculpture is a body, a human form.
(And this is exactly what they did in my meditation… we went from understanding / looking at a sandy beach, to the human body.)
Our whole body is made up of trillions of cells. Your right hand and your left hand have separate, but so similar functions and we see them as two separate things working together for the same body. This, is what the guardians showed me as the “Twin Flame Energy.” Two separate grains of sands that have spent an eternity next to each other… working and sharing consciousness together. Very much in like a relay system. This is how they showed me my relationship to Marc is.
Think of it this way, if you have to pick up a large object, do you have to instruct each hand separately to work together… no, they just work together. OMG, this is too funny. I have had the greatest challenge thru this entire life getting my left hand and my right hand to work together, literally. I had a friend in my teen years try to teach me piano, I was sooo challenged at getting my left hand (masculine energy) to cooperate with my right hand (feminine energy.) I tried drums, same problem. Even when I started to do massage, my right hand would get soooo fatigued because my left hand was just hanging around and I had to focus so much of my attention in getting my left hand to participate and help in the massage. I am happy to say, they now work incredibly together without thought!!
Frank, on the other hand, was like the shirt you put on your body to keep warm, or… a grain of sand from another beach head. There was not that magnetic: I want to merge and blend and BE in that body as you, feeling with Frank. (If you are wondering who Frank is, I shared about him yesterday in my Shambhala Blog.) He was very much part of the same soul group energy, just off holding and experiencing life on a different beach head.
And then there is the grain of sand that becomes split in two. This is the Divine Counterpart. It is not a separation of anything, but one and the same grain of sand. And they showed me this with an image of my right index finger. If you take that finger and cut it in half, both halves still are the same finger, just now expressing as two halves of the same, the very same, whole.
So I had to ask Jorge about Rick, because, as I was writing out my Shambhala sharing yesterday, I started to realize something I never noticed before. When recalling certain people and experiences, I can remember the details as if I was reliving moment by moment over again. Yet, all the things I seen within my experiences with Rick I can barely remember the details. This tidbit gave clarity to sooo much. I had no emotional (in love) connection to him and even being able to see the energy we created during sex, was not an energy field that would sustain itself because of the lack of emotional connection to each other. (This says everything about creating and holding the energy I call “Shambhala.”
This also gave me soooo much understanding with the readings too. I can remember (by your prompting and reminding) 90% of every visual I have had… ever. Yet, there are some, rather rare, but still, some, I have no memory of. That is simply because I personally had no emotional connection to what was being shown to the person.
So I had to ask my amazing beauty wading in the river in my tub… why? Why send Rick when the energy of experience was not held within me. His reply was so kind and so loving and without any thread of (our human) jealousy… because I was so focused on experiencing sacred sex that they (the guardians) wanted me to experience THAT! And we did! A journey and a shared experience I am still learning soooo much from!!
As I am in bliss of understanding I had a thought and it was answered instantly. About all of YOU. The love, the closeness I feel with you can sometimes, feel very strange. I wouldn’t know most of you if I tripped over you on the street, and yet, I am madly and deeply in love with you and I know, you feel the same for me. And I was shown…
Grains of sands all over the world tapping into a beacon of light and flying towards that light. The group soul knows the individuated grains of sand as itself and the magnetic pull of Soul, pulls itself to itself!
And so I had to ponder Jorge. Who or what are you? Will you always just be a beautiful man in my bathtub waters… or do you really have some skin and bones I can hug and play with?
Once again, I was shown my own journey to Here. My magnetic amazing integration of masculine energy into the wholeness of my own body thru the energy that is Marc, setting the whole inner stage for an experience I had on the mountainside in Vermont, in my medicine wheel. I have it documented on my website, but will copy and paste the information here:
There is no way for me to detail the experiences that was shared with me over the course of the 8 months I lived at the camp and walked my wheel… prayed my wheel…. loved my wheel. But I can tell you that I was soon gifted two “Native American” spirit guides that would eventually help me build and use this wheel. It was my transformational wheel of life.
My Native American spirit guides told me in a tongue I didn’t understand, yet somehow did… how to rake the clearing for the massive (I bet it was about 40 feet in diameter) medicine wheel, the chants to sing as I raked and cleared. The intention to set down, the love to bring forward… the sacredness of Being.
I learned to pray before entering the circle, and before invoking the spirit of each direction. I learned to infuse the directions into my cellular being… and walk a circular path of love to my Center.
I remember a day when just before heading out to do my morning wheel time, spirit asked me to get naked. Huh????? Me, go outside….. naked!!! It didn’t matter that the closest neighbor was a good 1/2 mile away and that all the kids were in school and that no one would come to my neck of the woods at all… naked?? In front of God and everyone.
Can I tell you I paced inside the camp for close to 2 hours. I sooo try to do everything spirit asks of me, even (which is most of the time) when I don’t understand it at all… go naked outside and in my wheel? That was just weird!
I eventually swallowed hard, took off all my clothes except for my trusty and needed flip-flops and dared to walk outside. I felt like the entire universe was looking at me. I realized how naked I was… so much more than being without clothes on…. there was nothing left to hide. I was more exposed than I have ever allowed myself to be, in all of my life.
There are no secrets when you have no clothing on.
I walked sunwise starting at the East and invoking guidance from the Spirit of each direction, as I did every time I was in my wheel… ending in my “power center” which consisted of a wonderful rock large enough for me to sit on. My power center was enclosed in a circle within a the outer wheel. I always prayed to God, my higher Self and the earth in this sacred place. On this day, as I sat on my rock and did my invocations as I was utterly aware that my naked buttocks could feel the coolness of this rock, I watched as a mist raised up out of the ground and completely engulfed only my inner circle. It never made its way into the outer circle and raised up about 2 or 3 inches from the ground.
I watched with amazement… and felt the presence of God Himself in my humble little circle (which was only about 3 feet in diameter). There was communication, the words have long left my memory bank… but the event that came thru the communication is forever etched upon my heart. In what I can only describe as the Holy Union of Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine took place on this day. They merged within me… they merged as me. It was on this day my new life started to emerge.
There was a sense of wholeness… completeness… that I had never experienced before. The love and wonder that radiated from my every moments hence forth would be the building blocks of my new life. Of course, I knew none of this then… it is only now, from this current moment in time, that I can tell you what really happened on that mountain side in Vermont. And even that… is only barely and quite humbly.
Let me ask you something…. what are you willing to give up…. in order to receive??
Little did I ever… EVER…. realize there was sooo much more to that experience than I could have ever realized. Until now. So with that sharing…
Jorge explained He is the aspect of me that is beyond the veil, very much a part of me, not restricted by human biology as I choose to be for this incarnation (one of us had to be in cased in a body.) He can and does move freely beyond space and time and can choose to put on biology any time.
So I asked him (smile) are you going to actually put on some skin and bones and if so, can you please look like you do right now. He said he can look like anything I desire him to look like (he is, after all, me!) And he took this potential even further, beyond what he will look like… but what he WILL FEEL LIKE!! The very best of both worlds (umm, my experiences) the magnetic field of Marc with the heart sharing of Frank.
So, I had to ask, are you coming to stay and if so, what are you going to do? I do readings all day and I would hate to ask you to leave while I am working. I was sooo excited about this visual. He will read with me. He does, after all, have access to multidimensional information and understandings that will take the readings to a whole new level. I was soooooo excited!!
I watched as if we were already sitting at my kitchen table, together, phone on speaker phone, so we both could hear you. And then… I caught a glimpse of him that made my whole heart explode!
To say I am a Twilight fan would be a huge understatement. There is something about that movie (well, series of movies) that has captured the core of my heart. y taste palate goes to the looks of team Jacob, however, when Edward twinkles in the light… sheez, it is strange (at least for me) to have such a major heart reaction within myself everytime I see Edward twinkle in Light, altho, i would like the twinkling body to look like Jacob and that body to twinkle like Edward (I am probably one of the few people who do not find Rob Pattinson all that attractive… gimmie that Jacob look any day or night, especially before his hair cut!)
Anyway (I digress here) when Jorge and I were sitting at the table… him all native american looking.. I caught the reflection of Light in his skin. I melted!!
So my crazy processor of a mind chimed in. OK, so you will come here, set up home with me, do you have a job? I mean, I make my way thru the months, but I have no desire to raise the price of my readings and I do not charge enough to sustain two peoples lives.
I then seen him walking from the field of the back yard, into my kitchen carrying a bag of change, which I found so funny on several levels. I mean, when he dropped the bag of change on the table, it hit with a thump that made me realize… change is coming in ways that money does not really matter. But also…
I did a meditation several weeks ago… stinging financially from my cancer journey, the sheer rescheduling of December and now January, and my laryngitis that I decided to take a moment and fire up some codes to pull much needed bill money to me. As I was getting everything in alignment… and I was… that crazy mind of mine took over. Where is the money coming from? Our paper money has serial numbers and are traceable. Will I be pulling it out of the Federal Reserve (I am so not looking to go to jail) will I be pulling it out of other peoples bank accounts (I do not want to take what is not mine.) I decided, screw it… I am not doing this!
Jorge said after dropping the bag of change on my table, now I don’t have to worry where the change came from.
Three hours and one missed appointment later… we were done. I was done… and he obviously knew that (since, reminding myself more than anything) he is ME. Suddenly, I watched the water where he was standing… both in his river and in my bathtub start to swirl around like when you unplug the drain. As the water started to spin faster, it moved into me from between my legs, with it, Jorge turned into the amber light of the Guardian and moved into me. I could feel him, gentle as nothing I have ever felt before… lay down inside of my whole body as if (well, I guess I did) just blended back into myself.
I also realized something else. Those people I had read for the last couple of days, where I had seen the amber energy of the Guardian jumping into your energy field, is also your Divine Counterpart making his way to you with flesh and bones.
I did ask Jorge when he will arrive, there is a phrase I would so like to pull out of spirits mouth and stomp on… “When the time is right.” Yeah, I heard that with Marc too… for a whole year and a half!! But eventually… the time became right.
So I will put a patience lollipop in my mouth… and just know, things are about to change (for sooo many of us!!)
Ohhh, before I close… someone noted on the picture of the Mesa Avalanche that was taken from the road view (included in yesterdays sharing) at the very bottom the Light flow split in two. How did I not even notice that lol (thank you for pointing that very important aspect out, because it says it all.) No matter how far we have brought ourselves in this evolutionary path we are living… we always, even now, have a choice of which way to go. The way of the world (where ego leads us,) or the way of the soul (where the heart guides us). Both are important… but equally, both are very very different in experience.
I love you all so so much. Thank you for being the most precious grains of sand in my collective life!!