The Balance of Ego and Divinity

Note from Shelly: Hello All! ~ This is a quick note because I had some extra things I wanted to share with you. Recently I did a different kind of channel. This is from the group essence of all the divine feminine energies who have worked with us on earth.  It includes the ancient Greek goddesses, Isis, the Celtic and the Hindu goddesses.  It also includes a few I work very closely with; Kwan Yin, Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene and of course the Goddess of Creation.  They all came together and created a circle where I walked into the center.

I like so many of the rest of you have experienced episodes of abuse during this lifetime and in past lifetimes.  I've done a great deal to release the old hurts and move beyond.  This channel assisted me in truly moving beyond these old wounds.  I also realized it was assisting humanity in moving beyond the wounds of abuse and into a greater balance of the male and female energies.  The energies are so intensely loving, accepting and gentle. I have not transcribed it, but you may listen to through this link: http://www.goddesslight.net/articles/moving-beyond-abuse.htm

And now I leave you to enjoy today's channel The Balance of Ego and Divinity

Thank you,

Shelly

 

Nama sika; venia benya ~ I AM the one, I AM the whole

I greet you my beloved family!

I send forth my love, I send forth my embrace to each one of you as you come into this group, as you come together for this time of sharing energy, for this time of sharing love and compassion.  There is so much happening upon the earth at this time.  There are deep transitions taking place, some of this as a result of the shift in the collective consciousness, others as a result of the activities and actions that have been taken over the last 10 - 15 and 50 years.

Everything that happens upon the earth is cyclical.  Sometimes people have a tendency to fall into a space of fear, the space of focusing upon what is wrong, and that is a part of what creates the spread or the shift through fear.  I am here to share with you that the earth is not going anywhere!  It's not coming to an end.  It's not going to crumble and have everything fall into anarchy, so be at peace.

Be aware that there are so many lightworkers throughout the entire earth and all of you come together sharing your energies, sharing your light; be it the people upon the conference or everyone who reads it at a later date, you too are aligning your energies with the energy of evolution, the energy of love, of creating balance within your own self.  And for each person that's balanced and emanates that balance out to the rest of the world, it creates a template, if you want to call it that, or it creates a space where others are able to find an alignment. Yes, you are doing this for your own self but it moves through the rest of humanity.

Take this moment and breathe down within yourself, breathing through your heart center, breathing all the way down into your abdomen, down into your feet and into the ground if you so choose.  Feel yourself in this physical existence.  Connect within; draw in your energies so that they are not so scattered and expanded in many different directions and as you do so it allows you to anchor within.

From this space of anchoring, I encourage you to more fully release your consciousness.  Shift your awareness.  You will first of all move into the energies of the magnetic grid and as you arrive within this space, you immediately find yourself moving into the space of your higher self.  Take this opportunity to allow yourself to explore what's around you.  You send forth an impulse; be it a thought, be it a colour or a light. It moves through the magnetic grid and then returns back to you.

Perceive your vibration within this space.  You are much more conscious of the vibration that you emanate as a result of our last journey together, so within this space when you focus on a particular emotion - we'll just choose the emotion of contentment - send out that impulse and then feel it as it comes back to you.  As it is returning you may have a sense of feeling all those aspects perhaps of life or all those aspects that are in alignment to that as they reflect back to you from within this space.

You may ask yourself, what is the predominant emotion that you are feeling?  Again, I choose to work within this space of the magnetic grid so that you may be aware of how you can work with this in your daily life.  If the emotion that you perceive is most predominant is one that you would like to shift, then choose how you would like to feel. And send that energy throughout the grid so that you may find yourself balancing with that with which you are aligned.

You may come into this space anytime that you so choose.  I now invite you to shift your awareness so that you leave behind the magnetic grid, moving through the interlocking grid and into the crystalline grid.  As you arrive within this space, you find that there are many different aspects with which you align.  Feel the vibration of these crystalline energies around you.  Take a breath and breathe in those energies as they move through your consciousness.  So too they move down and into your physical being.

Look around.  Feel or sense the energies of this space.  From here allow your perceptions to shift once more.  This time move into the space of the soul plane.  This is another aspect of the crystalline grid work; there is also a dimension that is separate so you may find yourself moving between the two or fully in one or the other.  It matters not; simply your intention of moving into the soul plane allows you to move within that space.

Within the soul plane I invite you to call forth your I Am presence.  This is your divinity.  It moves towards you or it comes up from within you.  Allow yourself to perceive who you are within all of your divine essence.  Reach out to merge.  Allow your consciousness to move throughout your divine essence and open to feel what that is like.  As you feel these energies flowing within and around, allow your awareness to align with all that is right for you to perceive in this moment.

Now I the Goddess come into the space in which you are, I reach out to each one of you and I send forth my embrace, I send my love, allowing that to merge with you so as to enhance your own perception of who you are.  This shifts you into the space of the All That Is.  As you move within this space, allow your consciousness to expand even further.  There is so much that is here for you.

As you look within your divinity, open to receive the complete love and acceptance that is here for you.  Your soul essence has had a multitude of experiences; some of these have been upon the earth, some have been experiences out within the universe, others have been in what you might call the in between.  Each of these experiences or lifetimes or whatever you would like to call them, have come back within this I Am presence and that is what has created your divinity.

There is only love and acceptance for you in this lifetime and for the choices that you have made. You the human may have given yourself a hard time, or you may be critical of some of your experiences, some of your choices, but anytime you come back within this space of your I Am presence, within this space of your divinity, that is the time for you to open to the acceptance and let go any harsh judgement that you may have had for yourself.

With the magnitude of shifting consciousness upon the world, many of you are finding yourselves swamped with emotions.  You may ask yourself, is what I perceive my emotion or is it someone else's?  It may be difficult for you to know.  From this place of complete acceptance, of allowing, I invite you to open up and consider the emotions that are most prevalent within your life.  As I speak of this, I see emotions flowing through here on various ends of the spectrum.

Let us first consider those people who are tapping into fear.  Is fear a part of your life?  If so does it affect you because of the people around you or does it affect you because of experiences that are occurring within your life right now?  For those who are able to perceive the specific source of this fear, then you can move into that space completely.  For those who are unsure from which it's coming, then simply align with any fear that you may be feeling.  As a group I invite you to link with that fear and then through your conscious choice, release it, letting it go.  Breathe through this release.

In this moment do you feel the relief that comes from letting go of fear?  Do you perhaps have anger?  Do you feel frustration?  As you are moving through and considering the emotions around you, whatever it is that you might be feeling that is holding you back, take this moment to link with it and then let it go.  It was almost as if I perceive a tidal wave of emotions being released.

Come back; bring your focus back within you in this moment.  Are there beliefs; are there thoughts that are holding you back in your life?  As you connect with any thoughts or beliefs that might be holding you back, take this opportunity to look at why that thought or that belief was created in the first place.  Did it serve you at one time?  Has it runs its course?  Allow any thoughts, beliefs, or the energies around them that no longer support you to be released in this moment.

Your consciousness comes forth as if it's shaking off those emotions, those aspects of your mental body.  Anything which is no longer working for you is released at this time, so that now you in the presence of your divinity are able to fully appreciate who you are within this life.  When you peel away the layers that make up living, when you get right down into the core essence of who you are, recognise that there is a very valuable person; there is someone who has so much to gain from living this life they are living.  There is someone who has chosen to come upon the earth for this very life existence.  As you allow yourself to open up within your core essence, as you have let go those layers of insulation, feel the deeper flow of your divinity as it moves within you.

This awareness allows you to have a greater understanding of your own divinity.  Feel that unconditional love, feel the presence that acknowledges that you are not alone.  Are there times in your life in which you feel a need for greater strength?  Practice in this moment being open to the flow of strength that comes from within your own divinity.  You are aligned. Look around, perceive the colours, perceive any images, perceive sensations that you may be feeling.  And as this goes within your conscious awareness more and more, it is allowing your consciousness that's aligned with this human essence, with this person that you are in this lifetime, it is allowing that which is human to become comfortable with and acknowledge the immensity of who you are within your divinity.  This allows you to integrate a greater amount of your divinity within your daily life.

Within this space of the All That Is, you are fully blended; your consciousness and your divinity.  There is not one or the other; it is all in the same.  Take this opportunity to call up, or bring forth who you are as you live this life upon the earth.  As if you are looking at yourself, look from the eyes of compassion.  Look at your daily life.  Are you open to perceive that perhaps there are possibilities for change that you are not aware of prior to this moment?  As you look at your life perhaps you perceive another alternative to the choices that you are currently making.  No matter what is happening within your life, there is always a potential for change.  Look at that potential right now.

I have this perception of some of you reaching out with two hands and grabbing it - yes, whatever you would like to do.  Reach out, embrace change.  From this space of your divinity, send forth impulses of light, impulses of information that will give you a better understanding of your life and the ways in which you are able to create change.  Release that image or that essence of observing your daily life and allow your focus to once more come back within the space of the All That Is.

Look around.  Through conscious intention I invite you to open and receive a perception of where you are within the All That Is.  There is so much information that is being integrated within and around the earth at this time.  As you look around you, become aware of the consciousness.  Not only your own but the consciousness of the universe.  As you perceive what is around you, be open to receive a message if perhaps there is one for you.  Be open to perceive the movement of energy as you send out a thought and then receive it as it comes back to you.

In so many regards, this consciousness is lighter, finer.  It is the purest essence of that crystalline vibration which is now being incorporated into and around the earth.  Therefore consider when you were in the magnetic grid and you sent forth a thought.  You sent it forth and when it returned it most likely had shifted or transformed.  Within this space as you send forth an impulse, as it comes back to you it may perhaps be enhanced but it is essentially unchanged from when you sent it forth.

Part of the reason for that is because the magnetic grid is influenced by all the various dimensions within and around the earth.  It is also influenced by the positive and negative of the magnetics.  Within this space, the crystalline vibration is completely different.  It is much more transparent, it is much less dense.  You may therefore transition energies, emotions, thoughts, whatever it is you seek to change with much greater ease.  The more that these energies are incorporated within the earth, they too will adapt to being within the energies of the earth.  But there will always be that greater amount of fluid, light, variable energy.

Within your consciousness and within your physical body, you are changing.  From a molecular structure outwards, you are incorporating this new energy and it affects you in many different ways.  Release any struggle.  Release any perception that change is hard or that change is going to be bad for you.  Feel in this space the type of energy that is going to be becoming much more so into and around the earth.  It will get easier.

It is available to you now by shifting your consciousness into a space of expansion that you link with these energies.  Many of you do this in an unconscious manner all the time as you walk through your days.  Others of you consciously choose to come into this space as you seek to resolve an issue or as you seek answers of any sort.  The more that you utilise this crystalline energy, the greater capacity of this there is available to you in your daily life. I am speaking of within the energies of the earth's plane in this moment.  You are each expanded hugely, your consciousness moves out in every direction.  For some you, you are not even aware of what this effect is to you.

Draw back your energies.  I invite you to come forth as a group.  As you create this group in which to invite that hologram of the earth, many of you are maintaining your dimensions of expansion.  Whatever is comfortable for you is what I encourage you to do in this moment.  As this group is creating somewhat of a circle, it's somewhat loose, you see moving up from within it the hologram of the earth.

For the past several months, maybe as much as nine months or almost a year, each time that the hologram comes up within your group, you are becoming much more aware of the layers or the dimensions that are around the earth.  It's not just a picture of the earth or a globe of the earth.  It is the earth and then all those shifts in consciousness that are now becoming incorporated.  As you look at this hologram and you send an impulse from your consciousness into the hologram, it becomes illuminated with light, illuminated with energy.  Perceive how you create a space for yourself.  Perceive how you align within this essence.

As each of you have sent forth your energy or your essence, the hologram begins to rotate as it evolves.  It is fully incorporating all that you sent forth.  The hologram itself shifts.  As it does so it moves downward as if moving through all of those various dimensions.  It moves further and further until it goes into the core essence of the earth itself.  Within the earth, the hologram moves until it aligns with that immense crystal that is within the center of the earth.

As it does so that energy radiates outward.  It comes out through the earth, through the surface, it comes up through the trees, the grass, through everything that is located upon the earth and it moves outward aligning with the magnetic grid, and creating a greater flow that allows for the crystalline energy to travel downward, into and around the earth.  The magnetic grid work is shifting outward more and more as the greater consciousness moves inward.

Shift your focus once more so that your consciousness comes back within you and your divinity.  You release that connection to everyone else present, and as you do so you find yourself shifting.  You allow your consciousness to move through those various aspects or levels of conscious awareness.  As you blend with the magnetic grid, you pause for a moment perceiving how this area too has expanded.  The space in which your higher self resides is sparkling; it's vibrating with a greater amount of energy that moves through at this moment.

Allow your consciousness to return to your physical body and as you do so, once more invite those aspects that make up your personality, your ego, whatever it is that you consider that makes you the human that you are.  Allow that to come forth and be very aware within you, and as you do so, bring down within this space as much of your divinity as is able to fully align.  You may have a sense of stretching or expanding your human self, so as to accommodate.

Howsoever you perceive what's going on, allow your human expression of who you are to feel, to sense, to know, the complete acceptance for you in this lifetime.  Feel the love and the support that is yours from within your divinity.  Let that flow all the way through your human self, through your physical body, your emotional, your mental body.  And as you take a deep breath allow everything to blend into a deeper balance within you.  Ground this essence of your divinity, as it's taken these moments to incorporate fully within you.

As you come back with this room, I am open to receive questions.  You may press *7 upon your phone to come back within this room.

Question: (paraphrased) Thank you so much for that journey.  I have a feeling the energy you brought forth so strongly-I just can't breathe enough!!  For a year now I've been on my own; I'm divorced and my kids are out of the nest.  I've moved a couple times and now I'm contemplating another move. I'm been feeling isolated but not alone and like I'm ready to join community again.  I'm wondering if you would take a look at me and where I am to see if this move I'm making is a good one for me.

Answer: There have been a number of reasons and we think you know completely what those reasons are; but this past year has been a greater transformation for you than you give yourself credit for.  You understand how it was necessary to have that space and find out who you are as an independent person. What you were releasing as you left the marriage as you left so much behind you, was more of the old energy, the energies of subverting yourself; the loss of identity is coming to us.  This past year in which you've been finding out who you are it has been from within your core essence of yourself and that is much bigger than what you realize.  That was one reason why this journey was bringing full circle everything that you have been working on that you began several years ago and culminated this past year.  Where we see you right now is as if you are still a little bit tentative of who you recognize yourself to be.

There is an aspect of you as the human who is still not willing to accept that you are so magnificent.  Even as I say that now, there is a part of you that feels ‘Oh that's kind of good' but another part that feels ‘no, no not really'. It's as if what's ingrained in people to be humble.  It feels like old energy and what I want each of you to do - this message goes out to more than just you- is when you are in that space of yourself, within that space of your own essence; at least in that moment to understand who you really are.  That you are immense, that you are amazing in what you have done both in this life time and other lifetimes.  This is so that you become more comfortable with this idea.  It is not so that you can go outside and say to people ‘Hey, did you know I'm immense?'  That's not the intentions of this.  The intention is that your ego, your personality is much more able to fully incorporate your divinity.  If you go back into the energies of this journey tonight you will see you took tremendous strides.  It's almost as if when you wake up tomorrow and in the days to come that you will see more.  It's as if it's a step by step by step acknowledging and accepting who you are.  That is what this past year is culminating in.

So therefore any move that you make, any reaching out to others, absolutely!  It's all going to be there and you are following your heart.  We sense that this next move is going to be one that is much more permanent to you.  You have a little bit not let people in over the past year because you were trying to find that inner strength or that way of trusting from within.  Now you have accomplished what you were seeking to do and it's as if the potentials around you become much more evident.  Does that make sense to you?

Yes it does, thank you very much.

As you go forth remember that you are not alone.  Remember that you have so much within you that is still available.  We see many changes coming for you and we encourage you to embrace each change with joy and anticipation.  Thank you. You're welcome.

Question: (paraphrased) I found myself this month facing a loss of income.  I have been on workman's comp for an injury at work.  They suddenly pulled my income out from underneath me.  I'm going to get some unemployment, there's a special program for people like me, but in the mean time I'm going to need to go to agencies and ask for rental assistance for rent this month.  I'm a little bit concerned that may not be here for me.  I haven't had to do this for more than a year and I'm wondering if it will be there for me.

Answer: We sense there is more than just this agency that will have assistance for you.  We're sensing other organizations and if you do a search on the internet, for some reason it feels like churches and other organizations will have been recognizing that this is more of an issue for a multitude of reasons.  People who choose to give and people who have been gathering funds to use in such a manner have been gathering for quite awhile.  We have a sense that while this organization may not give you the full amount of the rent it will be a portion and another organization will supplement.  We just keep seeing church.  So we would recommend you open your awareness and look around for other organizations that may indeed have the potential to offer greater assistance.  We see this going on for the next 2-3 months.  We also see that you have been fighting against it but this is a time for you to make a change in your life in terms of your work.  What you were doing was something you were already loosing interest in.  You have been considering making a complete change but were hesitant to do so because when you make a complete change and start from scratch it's very difficult to go back to a lower income.  This is what we see you doing. This is an opportunity that pushed you in that direction.

We see you finding something that brings you more joy in your life.  We have a sense of you doing something that takes you outside of an office building.  It feels as if it's something where you are in and out all day as opposed to sitting at a desk all day long.  It also feels like it has to do with communication and healing.  Partly you will be healing your own self, but also being in the space of others and through communication it feels like a healing environment.  We're not sure what all that means because we're not getting a specific job. We sense you have already been considering what changes you would make and it feels like it's coming full circle.  It honestly feels that by the New Year or sometime in January you will be on a new course.  That doesn't mean that between now and January is dead space.  You are going to be setting up this foundation.  Have you already been interviewing with someone else?

No, this all just happened a week ago and came out of the blue.  I haven't even gotten my resume together yet. 

Before you even work on your resume we recommend you take time.  For example with this journey tonight you went inside you divinity, when you went inside and saw all those potentials for yourself; whether or not that consciously came back to you or you forgot for this moment.  If you take a moment to breathe deeply, let yourself go into meditation, bring in that balance, bring in that sense of connection within yourself, and let yourself find that space of peace even if it's only for several minutes a day or longer is completely up to you.  But when you are in that space ask yourself the question: what would truly make me happy?  If the world is completely open to me and I can do anything within the world I choose to do, what would it be?  Then go from there.  See what comes to you, see what manifests.  We sense this is going to be a complete change for you.  Over the next several months you will find yourself going in directions never anticipated before.  Of course that's' all good!

Exactly, that's what I've been needing!  Thank you.

You are welcome.

Question:  (paraphrased) I have a question tonight about business.  I've been hearing that in these difficult times it seems the antithesis of what we would be expected to do is go into business but that is what we are expected to do.  In general do you have any words for people going into business and for me specifically I think it's time to expand my business and I'm wondering if you have any information about that.

Answer: For anyone who is going into business for themselves be it as a contractor, be it opening something from scratch, no matter what it may be, yes indeed if you allow yourself to tap into the fear that is somewhat prevalent in the collective consciousness you can allow yourself to be convinced this is a bad time.  No matter when you start your business it is always going to be a transition.  There are a number of businesses that will close down within a certain period of time and it's just the general rule.  The fact that now time is a little tighter rather than other times that are not as tight; we from this perspective don't see it as that different.  So for anyone reaching out, any one seeking to expand, be aware that yes, businesses can still flourish you can start something from scratch, you can make a go of it.  Because people still need to have the services.

Now circling back around to you we know what your business is, we've worked with you before.  The ways in which we see you expanding are very solid and very reasonable. You've built a great foundation.  We see you as expanding into other age groups and expanding into other cities.  What were you considering for your expansion?

Just that!  One idea that has come to me is to start right here at home.  Transform my office space to have someone working side by side with me.  Okay, so you're taking on a partner?  Not exactly, but sort of. 

It doesn't feel like a partnership, perhaps as an employee.  But it feels like more than an employee.  It feels like someone who will have a vested interest in the company but it doesn't feel like an equal partner, so something in between.

To be more specific, it's a friend of mine who wants to share space.  I can see where we could work out a bartering arrangement where I would set up some pace at home that he could make use of; but it would also be helpful to me.

Absolutely, anything that resonates with you especially with this individual, we sense you get along well.  It's actually going to push the two of you to a degree but it will actually perhaps work out even better than what you are thinking.  It's going to force you to reorganize the space.  It's going to force you to clean out some of the old energy and clean out old boxes that you don't need to hold onto any more.  Or you may just filter through them.  What we see happening is that this is going to create a physical space that is expanded.  But it's also going to create an energetic space that will expand your business.  You will then be called to other cities, we see you working with other age groups and we see you calling on interpreters.  We know you've done this before in an off and on time frame; but it will more consistent in the future.   Your business feels solid to us and any expansion you feel called to do, we sense is good.  You are very connected within yourself and whenever you go into meditation and ask yourself these questions, you get the answer.  You already know all this!  We are not telling you anything you don't already know.  So trust in yourself and believe in all that is around you in any direction that you seek to go.  (Okay, thank you)  You're welcome.

Question (paraphrased) First of all did I release enough fear on the journey because I fell asleep a couple of times.  The other thing is the same question I always ask; how am I doing, how am I doing on my journey?

Answer: First of all, when it comes to releasing the fear, we sensed you released a great deal of fear.  You had moments of standing there in alignment with your divinity in which you were awash with this deep rosy color.  It was as if a pink essence was flowing through you and around you. Within that essence you were at complete peace within yourself.  Yes indeed you released every aspect of it!  Where you are now is back in your human consciousness with your personality, your ego, whatever you want to call it.  That's what you need to work with in your next step.  You need to recognize you have let go of these things.  You keep taking two steps forward; one step back.  The reason for that is because every time you moved into something new and different your ego as a means of trying to protect you says ‘nope, I'm pulling back, I'm pulling back on the reins'.  This gives you a sense that you are not making any progress in your life.  In truth, we see that you have made a great deal of progress, that you are allowing yourself to incorporate a great deal of change.  So your perception some times that it is not happening is from your personality trying to help you be more cautious or not get hurt.  This is when it's essential to have that self talk to allow the ego to come up and consciously talk to it 1:1 so that you can more fully release the fears from the ego's perspective.  Then breathe in the divinity, breathe in the balance of your divinity, the strength of your divinity and through that you will find a greater balance in your daily life and that aspect that is holding you back can be released so that you can move forward and stay those two steps forward.   Does that make sense to you?

Yes it does.

So you are doing on the whole doing very well.  You are coming along on your journey.  We see you as if you are gathering courage-you've been gathering so much and we see you about to take this bit of a quantum leap; so good on you!

Thank you so much!

Question: (paraphrased) Goddess? This is my first time here and I wanted to mention I had a dream 3 nights ago; well it wasn't a dream, it was a vision.  It was three rods and the rods were like a rainbow all blended together.  If you know rocks it was selenium, sort of opaque but you could see the sum.  They didn't have an aura, but they were translucent and illuminated.  I can't find anywhere that talk about it in the dream dictionary so I thought I'd ask you about it.

Answer:  As I'm linking with you and as I'm linking with this vision and this rod I see a couple of different interpretations for this.  First of all it feels to us as if two of the rods are the end of a scroll and you were looking at a scroll that rolls at the top and the bottom.  Then the third rod was used for illumination of what was written upon the scroll.  So two of the rods were for balance and the third one was for illumination.  The fact it was transparent was looking at your life from a space that your life is also transparent because it is always in a state of flux or state of transformation.  You have aspects of your life that are very balanced and secure within you.  Then with the third rod illuminating whatever was written on the scroll.  It was as if that was giving you and opportunity or showing you that any time you call forth these three rods it would give you a snapshot or perception of whatever might be going on within your lifetime.  You could utilize that as a means of getting information and creating change for yourself.  Does that make sense to you?

Cool!! I called them my rainbow rods.

Excellent, excellent, we love that name too.  That's our perception of how we saw you utilizing them.

Oh, okay, that's great!  I meditate but I do have trouble getting in touch with whoever I want to, but that's great.  I really do appreciate it.  Thank you so much. 

In that regard we'll say one last thing.  For people such as yourself who feel as if you have difficulty getting in touch, having some sort of a visual you can focus upon such as a scroll or these illuminated rods; it gives you something for the analytical part of the brain to focus upon and that allows the abstract part to receive the information.

Oh, that's perfect!  I'm going to do that.  Thank you very much.  You're welcome.

Question: (paraphrased) I'm having a very hard sleeping again at night, is there any help you can give me?

Answer: Let's see........ we would invite you to take an minute and take a deep breathe within your heart and open it up like you are opening a door so we can get a greater perception of you linking with you.  Ahhh, there we go.  We know you; we've worked with you many different times.  We know how very open and loving you are with all that is going on within your life.  the fact that we need to invite you to open in this way is giving us the perception that there are parts of you that have been closing down or cutting back from the amount of evolution or expansion you were incorporating within your life.   We have a sense of you moving forward, making changes, that you had created a wide foundation for yourself.  It feels as if you've made a choice, as if a part of you is shutting down or not as open because now is not the time for you to make changes moving forward in life.  Does that make sense to you?

Ah, yeah a little bit. 

We sense if you go back and look at this later there will be more that comes to your awareness.  So that is what we perceive is going on; it's as if you have put the brakes on because you felt it wasn't the right time so you weren't secure to make a commitment to change in your life.  This left a part of you sitting in limbo.  When you feel disconnected like that it moves through you in many different ways and we feel that is what is keeping you awake at night; that disconnection with you.  There is one part that says do this, do this do this; another that is saying hold back, hold back, hold back.  If you work with yourself and the journey tonight was about blending your divinity with your human self so that you can be more balanced.  Our senses is that if you work with that even if you do choose to delay making some changes or choose that now is not the time for whatever it was you were seeking; then be at peace with it so these aspects do not need to keep pushing you, pushing you, pushing you.  That we sense through the greater balance within yourself will allow you to sleep better at night.  We have a sense that when you take medication it actually creates greater disconnection within you and it causes you to remain awake even more or feel drugged the next day.  If there are things you feel you need to do, then by all means do so.  But we sense that if you take the opportunity to work with blending and you come to a sense of peace or contentment where you are in your life; it will assist you in being able to sleep more fully at night.

Question: (paraphrased) I was wondering if you could give me more information about the truth between me and my boyfriend Steve?  What would make me the most happy or be the best choice.  What should I do?  Should I move with him?

Answer:  this is something that is very difficult for us to come up with an answer.  We see you moving back with him but we see that if you do that  you will find yourself back to where you were a year or so ago, with the same feelings or that you haven't really shifted or found the peace you were truly seeking to have.  Then we also have a sense that if you stay where you are you will have the regret of why didn't I go with him? Why did I stay here?  Why am I all by myself again?  I don't want to live my life by myself so I should just go with him.  These are but two potentials, there are always going to be more than that.  These are coming to us as the most prevalent.

It feels to us that no matter what you do you are going to be unhappy with the situation, because of you putting forth for Steve to make you happy or a partner in your life to make you happy.   That happiness needs to come from within you and you choosing to be happy no matter where you are in your life.  Whether you go back with Steve and blend into his life, if that's the choice you make, then choose this is the life I want, this is where I choose to be happy, this is what I'm choosing to do and therefore the contentment is from choosing that life.    If you stay where you are and he goes back then this is where you are choosing to be because you choose to make a home for yourself and you choose to be happy.  No matter how it comes about, you have to choose within yourself.  Recognize that you have to find the peace and the love you are seeking within yourself first of all.  That is what allows you to feel satisfied no matter what choice you make or what direction you go.

Is he open to me moving back with him?

We sense he is open to you moving back with him, but we also have a sense of feeling him as a bit rigid.  It's as if his belief system is not the same as yours so he feels constricted when we see you with him.  That doesn't mean don't do it.  So when you ask is he open to me coming back; our sense is that he's open as long as you play by his rules.  That's our perception, we don't know if you have a different perception than that.

Is it mostly spiritual beliefs or something else?

Ummm it's mostly spiritual beliefs.  You bring up a fear in him.  For some reason it pushes him to have beliefs that he's not comfortable.  He's actually more open than he gives himself credit for.  It's spiritual for one thing but it also feels as if he likes his life compartmentalized; you get up, you work, you come home, this life is what it is. It's very regimented and the same.  You like things flowing, easy and much less rigid or controlled.  It's differences in personality not that one is better or one is worse, just differences in personality.  It can be worked out if you both choose.

Thank you.  You're welcome.

So for everybody, as you are moving through your days to come, as you continue to let go of anything that might be holding you back, truly embrace who you are within your divinity.  Find the balance of you as a human and you as your divine essence.  For this is the best way in which you can find your heaven on earth if you want to call it that, or where you can find that complete contentment and joy within you.

You are so very loved.

I am ever with you and within.

Ansaluia