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Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Lisa Gawlas – When One Layer Is Peeled Away Form Ego, A New Layer Is Added To Soul Expression. Holy Onions Bat-people!!
What a gem January has become. I guess it always was, but when you are in the fire changing the molecular structure from a piece of coal into a brilliant diamond, it sure doesn’t feel very gem like!!
For me, there are so many things clicking into place, understandings made tangible and actually…. very very applicable.
There is a huge difference in perspective when we are on top of something looking straight at it, as opposed when we are a sizable distance from whatever that is, looking at it. The view from a distance is fuller, more complete. This is true for our spiritual journey as well. More often than not, whatever is changing or has changed in our physical life is also giving us a larger view of our changing spiritual life as well, if we take the time to stop and really notice.
When I first seen the Mesa from the road way with my own two eyes, it was so different than when I open my back door and see it. The avalanche was huge, the falling away of ancient lava, one of the most resistant elemental formations loosened by erosion of time and weather. Very much like the goo of our ego!! It hangs on tight and solid. Until it cannot any longer.
The was something that kept pulling to me in the sheer depth of lava rock that fell away from its base, it is huge but also, creates an interesting formation. I took a picture of the rock that fell away, so I could ponder the larger significance of its relevance to us.
Two formations in one, held together by a thin band of rock. The large cut out on the left (which is really on the right side of the Mesa Cliff) would be the soul. The right side (again, which is the left side of the mesa) would be our ego. A true and deep partnership bound together by the experience of matter, expressing as one divine energy.
And yet, at the forefront of my mind, that which created this wonderful avalanche, of falling away… is a sharing done by Marc back in 2001 calledFEAR:
We are all birthed of the light… We are all stardust… We have just forgotten…and covered our light with the cloak of darkness. This cloak is layer upon layer of fear. Earth is cloaked in fear. Earth is a plane of the vibration of fear. Now then, fear is not just fright…. Or being scared of something in the night…or darkness… Fear is like a dust particle….made up of a vibration…. A dust particle of fear…is for example, fear of getting wet in the rain….fear of the traffic light turning red before we get to it…fear of running late for work…fear of not being able to find our keys…fear of another whom we think might not like us. These are the particles that really do not seem the obvious fears. Yet these are the particles that crystallize in layer upon layer that we cloak ourselves within…mistakenly holding onto the cloak for warmth…and lest we appear naked to others. And as our cloak builds denser and denser….we vibrate at the vibration of fear. This vibration is like a deep sound that we forget to know is there and grow used to as a companion. Bringing the light in is our way of forcing pinholes of light through the cracks of fear. As the light increases, the pinhole turns to a hole, widening the cracks in the folds of the heavy cloak, until pieces of fear start falling off in chunks… revealing the light that was always glowing from within. This creates the distinctive feeling of changing….and even creates a fear of changing. We may attempt to “plug” this hole, as it almost seems as if something is “wrong.” Others may sense the changing and may even move away lest we infect them with this threatening influence upon their warm cloaks of darkness. The morale of this story is to perhaps not try to change those obvious fears that we hold, for they are dense and solid, but to concentrate on the dust. Remove those dust particles and the chunks of fear will eventually fall away.Erode the cloak. In order to do this it is necessary to observe those little fears, like the ones in the example that bubble up to the surface and sit, hidden almost, from the mind’s eye. You will be surprised by the intensity and the sheer amount of non-obvious particles of fear you manifest in every moment. By observing our Self-propelled particles of fear, we have the opportunity to not let them coagulate and thicken upon our cloak of darkness that hides our light, but to cleanse them into shining examples or even release them to allow them to do what they may elsewhere. Many have been taught to release fear but often do not realize the influence of these particles and the speed they move at to “fix” this crack in the fold replacing it with these tiny, seemingly irrelevant particles. By learning to observe these small fears, we are able to help facilitate the re-emergence of the light body that lies beneath and the real cloak of light that has always been the true provider of warmth on our life journey.
It does indeed seem we have hit a planetary crescendo within the shift of releasing the particle dust of fear to create a glorious avalanche, truly exposing what is Real. And to go back to that picture of the Mesa, seen just a little further away from the above image:
What is sooo exciting, in order for this to have happened on a planetary scale, individually we had to hit a critical mass of completion together. Take a long moment and give yourself a HUGE hug. Change yourself and the world around you changes.
But something else happened to me yesterday, something that makes this Mesa image and the fullness of understanding more complete. I know for me personally, I have never realized how much I put away, deep inside of me, some of the most extraordinary feelings and experiences of this journey. The newness of an experience, the exhilaration of feeling within it. Kind of like, the feelings you experienced when you had your first real kiss, or the taste of chocolate. There was a brand new explosion happening with you, a feeling so indescribable and joyful, feelings you are sure you will never feel again… not quite like that first experience. And very much like the particles of fear as shared above, there are equally as many particles of loving bliss…. put away somewhere deep inside.
I was given an amazing gift yesterday. Actually, the synchronicity was awe-striking.
I arrived at UNM Cancer Center early. As I was walking to the check in station, I noticed an old guitar on display in a glass case. I couldn’t take my eyes off it as I walked slowly past. But why? I have no affinity to guitars, yet… there was something…
I checked in and sat in the waiting area. I don’t think a whole 10 minutes passed from noticing (sheez that is an understatement…) feeling that guitar to receiving an email notification that someone sent me a YouTube video. I get sent a lot of emails, a lot of forwarded links and stuff and rarely have the internet juice to follow any of the trails sent me. Some, I don’t want to follow.
When I finally got home later in the day, I pulled up my emails and so felt the energy of this particular email, of this particular person. I opened the video. I barely heard the first 50 seconds of this video before my internet went into serious buffer mode… but that didn’t matter, something happened in me… a stirring in the heart. Something in there was moving and trying to make its way out.
When I was able to hear the whole song: I Love You Because .. (by Jim Reeves) (gotta love this sync too… I was sent this particular song/energy at 7:44am yesterday. Suddenly I noticed something on my screen. Wordpress automatically saves a draft of what your typing as your typing it and my eyes suddenly drawn to: Draft saved at 4:44:44 am. Anyway… Suddenly as I felt each word of this song, I could feel a place in my heart that I didn’t even realize was under lock and key… open. The memories of the first 2 years on this path… the love and exhilaration thru so many new moments of experience, spilling out like a volcano erupting.
I was sitting on my couch, just feeling and re-membering and scrolling facebook on my phone when I seen a picture of a guitar created in a blue light that made me realize the connection of the guitar at my appointment and the explosion within this emotionally charged song would bring… the man in the video is simply strumming a guitar and signing from the depth of his heart.
It is only this morning I realize fully, how much of the simple joys, those fleeting moments of our heart expansion, we solidify too. Looking only for the bigger and obvious joys in our life, when really it is all the cumulation of the particles of joy. We can so overlook the particles as we seek the bigger, more obvious joys of our soul playing out-loud in the field of matter. But also, we put away those moments for fear of never having that again. We are truly a funny species!
And the Mesa exploded in passion, releasing the particles of Light to All of us to enjoy and savor deep within ourselves. And life will move heaven and earth (literally sometimes) in order for us to see what we do not look at straight on.
This gives way to something sooooo many people seek within their lives…PASSION. We tend to seek those big things, the obvious and actually quite elusive feelings of passion within every aspect of our lives.
You are going to find, very much like the onion of fear… passion is equally an onion, so many layers with a core charge. I think the only way to create a real example of what I mean by this, is the only way I know how… using myself as an example.
The hours I spent in meditation, from today’s vantage point, really seem insane. The darkness within my mind, within me was so profound, so thick that breaking thru to that single pin point of feeling a connection with the Light seemed never coming. And yet, I persisted, thanx to that crazy ass Ouija board session. The moment I plowed thru my own super active, depressed mind and felt the connection with Light, for a fleeting moment, I knew… there was nothing in life that would stop me from connecting again. Ever.
When that fleeting moment of connection to the Light turned into minutes, then hours, and the indescribable joy that was there within that space within me, within my bathtub became my passion to this day. But Light is so much more than just feelings, altho the feelings are massive, they also contain amazing information within the feelings too. Information that, when applied fully to ones life, changes the life they are living 100 fold.
This created the first layer of my core passion, to share what I was coming to know within meditation with others. My core passion was accessing the Light of my soul and all that goes with it… to this very day. The layer that wraps around that, is sharing what I come to know, as I come to know it, with others.
The next layer outside of that, was to experience myself in a variety of ways in life, learning about the information I was gleaning from the Light of my meditations. That took “what I did as a person’ into so many different areas of experience, of jobs really. The more my job(s) showed me what we were capable of, the more I wanted to help others learn this too, which created my next layer of my soul onion.
What is funny, even as I “see” these onion analogies there are opposites happening. With the onion of the ego, our task is to pull back the layers to fully expose the core (my core had been abandonment, it took me 3 years and two very beautiful, close relationships to fully expose that.) With the onion of the soul, we are going in opposite directions, adding to the layers of experience and integration and KNOWING.
And then we hit something huge, a full on alignment with our ego and our soul. This is when the Holy Union, Holy Matrimony of masculine and feminine become consummated. In the ecstasy of the holy consummation of ego and soul, a brand new life emerges. This is where soooo many of us are at now.
Back in the day, as I was understanding the matrix of our mind spirit showed me something, which our science knows very well. We only use about 10% of our minds full capabilities. Which seems really odd. Why give us a 100% capacity and only use 10%. The 10% we use, we use with our ego minds. The 90% that seems left unused, untapped, is for the fullness of our soul minds as it partners with the expert of created matter, our ego.
Tapering back the layers of the onion of the ego allows the layers of the soul and its energy to emerge and grow and expand. This cannot happen as an understandable concept, it requires action. Application. Even the vestibule of meditation is simply the beginning. If you never apply what you have come to know within as a way of life… it is still a potential that could have become experience, a way of life. The ability to fire up 100% of the brains capabilities.
My job, my way of making money over the last 13 years changed almost every year. My passion has never been about what I do, but the experience and evolution in my soul growth thru anything I do.
It is funny, I sit here and think… remember, we have talked about mother earth giving birth for as long as I have been on this path of Self Awareness, and yet, it has always been us. Our earth has been whole and complete since her inception and she shakes and moves and rattles to make our own inner contractions of birth happen. A true and unified eco-system of Life.
Let me close with the opening words/feeling of the song that still reverberates so outwardly from my heart (I need a bib, I hope you do too!):
I Love You Because…
I love you because you understand dear Every single thing I try to do You’re always there to lend a helping hand dear I love you most of all because you’re you